I received three calls this past week from amateur marketers desperately seeking to open an account with my company Gold Lasso. Each one claimed to be using an email service provider that encourages best practices. Below is a paraphrased conversation with one of these marketers.
Me: How long have you been practicing email marketing?
Marketer: About three years.
Me: What kind of email content do you send?
Marketer: Offers from third party advertisers.
Me: (red flag goes up) What is your average monthly email volume?
Marketer: Around two million emails a month.
Me: All two million email addresses are double opt-in?
Marketer: Double opt-in, what's that? These people signed up with my website.
Me: Did you disclose that you would be sending email from third party advertisers during the sign up process?
Marketer: No. I'm not spamming. I comply with the CAN SPAM Act. I provide my address at the bottom and an opt-out link.
Me: Why are you looking to open an account with Gold Lasso?
Marketer: Because my email is not getting through with my current email service provider.
Me: Which email service provider do you use?
Marketer: I use (Censored).
Me: Never heard of them. Do they over you your own unique IP address?
Marketer: They provide me with three revolving IP addresses.
Me: How much do you pay to send two million emails with your current provider?
Marketer: How much would you charge to send that volume?
Me: Depending on a few things, the cost might run around $(censored) per month.
Marketer: What? I pay $(censored) per month with (Censored) provider. You seem expensive.
Me: Our mail gets through. You get what you pay for. Besides, you're not the type of client we would like to have for the simple reason that your email marketing practices are not up to snuff. It's not an insult. It's just we like to have all our clients achieve maximum success and deliverability. I'm going to send you an email with some information to help get your program on the right track. Let me know if you have any questions. Once you're able to get your lists cleaned up we can speak further.
Marketer: Click!
Desperation is starting to resonate quickly amongst email marketers who lack best practices. I'm sure I will be receiving many more calls like this in the not so distant future. If you're doing everything right and your email is still not getting through, it's probably because you're sharing a network with one of these boneheads who recently called me.